September 30, 2014

Long Distance Love and Its Advantages

The first few days following a weekend with Kevin are always such a letdown. I miss him like crazy. It hurts. I know we will get through it and will see each other again soon, but damn I just want to hug him...right now. So people, do me a favor. Don't take that wonderful person in your life for granted. When you see him or her tonight, pause for a moment, wrap your arms around them and squeeze for a while. You don't realize what you could be missing.

Kevin and I live in separate cities. And not just separate cities. But cities that are in separate states and 6.5 hours from one another, by car. We don't have the privilege that others do of seeing each other every night. Of being able to reach over and just hold hands. Or steal a kiss. Or simply enjoy having that other person in the same room.

This situation is temporary but will be longer than others realize. Two more years. Yes. I said years. But we are worth it to each other. The long drives, the long waits to see each other again, the longing to be together.

People have said to me "I don't know how you do it" or "Isn't it hard?" or "Are you going to make it?" All good and valid thoughts. My responses are "Be glad you don't know how we do it" and "Damn right it's hard" and "There is no question in my mind we will make it." Why? Because we are in love with each other. We don't just love each other. I love a lot of people. But I am in love with Kevin.

All the waiting, all the driving, all the separation, all the longing is so worth it. Because when I get to see him, when I get to touch him, when I get to just be with him, I feel complete.

Many would choose not to have a long distance relationship. Kevin and I don't have a choice right now. It's just a situation we have to deal with for the time being. But there are advantages to it. I see you crinkling your brow at me. Yes, I said advantages. So with all that said, here are a few:
  1. Talking. Being long distance forces us to talk. And talk some more. And then talk a little more. We have had some deep conversations and have discussed pretty much everything under the sun. Because we have the time. And we take it. We have to. We need to, to feel connected. We have little other contact. Talking on the phone or FaceTime or Skype are what we have. Which means talking. And many times those conversations are downright amazing. We can't always show each other how we feel but we can express it with words. I've never had anyone truly express how much they love me the way he does with words. I love hearing it.
  2. Time Appreciation. When we do see each other we have a set amount of time. There is no "oh we can just do that tomorrow or next weekend" because it may be 2 or 3 weeks (or God forbid a month) before we see each other again. So we appreciate the time we have. And we are selfish with it. We don't share each other much. We simply don't want to. (I apologize to those of you I haven't introduced to Kevin yet, but I just don't want to share him when he's with me!) When you are together daily it's easy to take each other for granted. I know this. I've been there. It isn't done consciously or even realized. We will have this time to reflect on later and remind us to appreciate what we have. We all need those reminders, at times, and we are fortunate enough to have been given this lesson.
  3. The Little Things. We all appreciate the little things. Most of the time. But when you live long distance and don't have the little things taking place regularly they get amplified when you are together. Something so small becomes a "Wow" moment and fills your heart so full you could almost burst. Those "little things" become HUGE moments and are reminders of how we feel about each other and why we are making this work.
  4. Sex. I'm just going to say it. If you don't want to "hear" it shield your eyes now. The distance forces us to get...creative. And when we are finally together, after not being together for an extended period of time...well let's just say making up for lost time is A-MAZ-ING. Which, again, reinforces how we feel about each other. Nothing makes a person want someone more than denial. Long distance is the ultimate in denial. We can't have each other every day so we want each other every day. It's like 2-3 weeks of foreplay. Then it's like 2-3 days of honeymoon. You will just have to trust me on this one. =)
All in all...we have it pretty damn good when it comes to "us". Other than the zip code issue we are solid. And really the zip code thing isn't an issue, just a situation we have to get through. And we will. And boy will it be amazing once we do.


Because all the talking has brought us closer than either of us could have ever imagined on a deep level; because we appreciate every minute we get to spend together and look forward to more; because all those amplified little things remind us of how important the other one is; which makes us want the other one more and more. Which prompts further talking...which prompts deeper appreciation...which makes us do more of the little things for each other...which makes us want each other...and so on and so on...

I realize that not everyone will experience a long distance relationship and that's okay. Would I have gone through all this for just anyone? No. Kevin is my soul mate. So to go through this with/for him isn't even a question. But if you meet someone and they live a distance away, don't just discount them because of the distance. Take a little time to get to know them. You might be surprised by what you find and you just never know what you might be missing.

I wouldn't trade the connection the long distance has granted us but boy do I want to change my zip code!!

Please don't forget to take a moment tonight and see your significant other. I mean really see them. We aren't promised tomorrow so appreciate them today.

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